Drunken Saiyajins?!
by Lauryn1
Summary: What happens when Saiyajins get bored? Is it Vegeta to the rescue?


Drunken Saiyajins?!  
  
By: Lauryn Marino  
  
"Goku, Bulma and I are going out." ChiChi called to her husband as he flipped channels. "We'll be back later. And PLEASE don't get into any trouble!" she pleaded as she made her way to the door. "Ok, don't worry. Not like I have anything to do that would get me into trouble..." Goku mumbled, watching tv. ChiChi glanced back at him before closing the door. "Something tells me you'll find something to do..." she said to herself, closing the door. "All set?" Bulma asked as ChiChi climbed into the car. "Yeah." she replied, her eyes fixed on the house. "Is something wrong, ChiChi?" Bulma asked as she pulled away and started down the road. The woman was quiet for a moment. "No...Just a little worried about leaving Goku home alone...We've both seen the trouble he can get into when I'm not there." They both started having flashbacks of the kitchen incidents, not to mention the rabbit situation, and shuddered. "Try not to think about it." Bulma finally said. "We're out to have fun  
tonight. Besides, he only seems to get into that much trouble when he's left alone with Trunks and Vegeta... So he should be fine." ChiChi perked up a bit. "Yeah, you're right. As long as your husband and future son stay away from my Goku, everything should be just fine." Bulma glanced over at her, a slightly grim expression on her face. "You know, it's not like Vegeta and Trunks caused all the trouble. Goku has a big influence on Trunks..." ChiChi smirked a little. "Sure..."  
  
Back at the house, Goku was growing more and more impatient. "So bored..." he said to himself, slumping down on the couch. He looked over at a clock that read 10:06 p.m. "Geez, it's only 10 and ChiChi made Gohan go to bed already." he frowned. After hesitating for a few more minutes, the Saiyajin got up and snuck down the hall to Gohan's room. `Wait a minute...' he thought to himself. `ChiChi isn't here to stop me...so why am I sneaking around?' He immediately straightened up and opened Gohan's door, fully expecting him to still be awake. But to his surprise, the demi-Saiyajin was sound asleep. Goku stood in the doorway for a minute, trying to decide whether or not to wake his son up. `He's obviously tired if he's asleep already...but I'm BORED!' He paced around a bit, and finally walked over to Gohan's bed, unable to deal with his severe boredom anymore. He kneeled down next to the bed. "Hey Gohan..." he whispered. No response. "Gohan." he repeated, gently poking his son in  
the ribs. Still no response. Goku frowned and sat back on the floor, mumbling to himself. He wondered if Gohan would get mad if he found out that he was trying to wake him up only to ease his boredom. The Saiyajin thought for a moment longer, then smiled as he left the room and snuck outside, running around back to Gohan's bedroom window.  
  
Goku laughed quietly as he flew about twenty feet into the air, firing a blast down at the ground. The blast sounded and looked just like thunder and lightning as it hit the ground, shaking the whole house, just as Goku wanted it to. He quickly transported himself back onto the couch inside, just as Gohan ran from his room. "What was that!?" the demi-Saiyajin cried. Goku tried to hide a smile as he turned to him. "It was thunder. There's a big storm." he lied. Gohan ran to the door and looked outside. "But...but the sky is perfectly clear...and it doesn't look like it's been raining at all..." Goku looked from side to side as Gohan's gaze fell upon him. "Uh....it must have been a really quick storm." he chuckled nervously. Still suspicious, Gohan decided to accept his father's explanation and began heading back to his room. "Wait! Where're you going!?" Goku cried, almost in a panic. "I was going back to bed...It's almost 10:30..." Gohan said, confused by his father's tone.  
"Aw, come on...You're 12! I think you can stay up later than 10:30." Goku teased. "Yeah...but mom said..." "Mom said..." Goku repeated sarcastically. "Do you always do what your mother says?" Gohan was really confused now. "Um...yes." Goku fell silent as he stared at his son. "Ok..." he started. "Well...she's not here right now, and I say you can stay up." "Yeah, but what if mom comes home and..." "She won't be home for awhile!" Goku interrupted, startling Gohan. "Are you ok, dad?" he asked, a concerned expression forming on his face as he looked at his father, who was hanging over the back of the couch watching him. Goku chuckled a bit. "Of course I am....yeah.......no!...NO! I'm NOT ok! I'm bored! I'm going out of my mind!!!" he cried, falling onto the floor. "I woke you up because I can't stand it anymore!" "There's plenty to watch on tv, you know." Gohan said, walking over to Goku, who was still laying on the floor. He was silent for a moment as he looked at Gohan. "Have  
you ever watched tv? There's nothing on! Only a bunch of cheesy shows and staged Jerry Springer episodes! It kills your brain cells...and I can't afford to lose any!" Goku shouted. Gohan laughed a little. "Oh come on, dad! Surely you can find something to do." "If I could, I wouldn't have resorted to waking my 12 year old son up with a ki blast meant to sound like thunder!" Gohan thought for a minute. "Man...you really are bored..." Goku nodded. "Hey! I have an idea! I bet Vegeta and Trunks are still up, why don't you go see what they're up to?" Gohan suggested. Goku sat up and smiled. "Yeah...good idea! I'll go pick a fight with Vegeta!" "Not exactly what I had in mind...but ok..." Gohan said as his father ran to the door. "You wanna come, Gohan?" "And risk getting caught by mom? No way!" the demi-Saiyajin cried as he ran back to his room. "Ok, suit yourself." Goku called, already flying away.  
  
Goku smiled to himself as he darted through the night sky. Unable to wait, he skipped the flight and transported himself right to Capsule Corp. The Saiyajin smiled evilly as he spotted Vegeta training in the gravity room outside. `Time to have a bit of fun...' he thought to himself as he descended, careful to mask his ki as much a possible. He opened a panel on the gravity room and looked at all the wires, which were all labeled. Goku grinned and pulled the wire that affected the gravity, laughing as he heard Vegeta fall to the floor and curse from inside the room. He quickly closed the panel and hid behind a few trees a couple yards away, watching as the prince emerged from the room, still cursing as he opened the panel. "Stupid wires!" he heard him mumble as he put the pulled wire back in place, restoring the gravity control. Goku waited for Vegeta to return to the room before sneaking up to the panel again, pulling the same wire as before and laughing as the other  
Saiyajin fell to the floor, cursing. Again, he retreated to the trees as Vegeta emerged from the room, shouting about the cheap wires. Goku turned away and snickered, trying not to catch Vegeta's attention just yet. "Goku?" a voice said. "Huh?" Goku looked around in the dark, his eyes falling onto Trunks as he walked out of the shadows. "What are you doing?" Goku glanced back at Vegeta, then returned his eyes to Trunks, trying to figure out an excuse. Trunks noted Goku's action and looked over at Vegeta as well, who was still fiddling with the wires as he cursed. "Were you messing with the wires??" Trunks asked in surprise. Goku looked down at the ground in shame. "Yeah..." Trunks grinned a bit, not knowing how to react to this. "Goku," he said, trying his best not to burst out in laughter. "That's not at all like you. Why would you do something like that?" Before Goku could reply, he sensed a familiar ki, slowly rising. He and Trunks looked over and saw Vegeta standing a  
few feet away, not looking too happy.  
  
"Kakarotto!!" he growled. "Have you lost your mind!!??" Goku was silent for a minute. "Yes...yes I have." he finally said. "I'm sorry, but I was really bored and I had to do something or I was going to go completely insane!" the Saiyajin tried to explain. "And messing with my gravity room is what you decided to do!?" Vegeta demanded. "Well being that bored makes you do crazy things." Goku replied, folding his arms. The prince grit his teeth angrily. "Hold on." Trunks said, stepping between them to prevent his father from murdering Goku. "Goku, we can go do something. I was really bored too. There's nothing on tv these days." "Pshh, yeah, tell me about it." Goku muttered. Vegeta's mood suddenly shifted, as it normally does. "And what do you two plan to do?" he smirked. "Ride a go-cart and see a really cheesy movie?" Trunks and Goku looked at each other. "Hey, yeah!" Trunks said. "Sounds like fun to me." Goku agreed. Vegeta stood there in shock. "You're serious?" They nodded.  
"You two are pathetic! Honestly, if you're going to go for a night on the town, at least do it right!" "Well what's wrong with go-carts and a movie?" Goku protested. Vegeta shook his head. "It's a sad thing when two grown men don't know how to have fun." "Well, what do you suggest?" Trunks asked, folding his arms. Vegeta grinned a bit. "Follow me." he said as he took off into the sky. Goku and Trunks shrugged and followed.  
  
The Saiyajins made their way into a busy part of the city. "Wow...look at all the lights." Goku said as he looked down into the city. Trunks chuckled a little, being used to the sight. Finally, Vegeta landed and pointed at a building across the street. Goku and Trunks landed as well and looked at the building. "Oh hey, it's that bar I've seen a few times...What's so special about it?" Trunks asked. Vegeta smirked. "Have you ever been inside?" "No...." The prince looked over at Goku, who was still captivated by all the bright lights. "Kakarotto!" Vegeta shouted in an attempt to get Goku's attention. The Saiyajin looked over at Vegeta. "Do you think you can act like an adult for a couple hours?" Vegeta asked in all seriousness. Goku frowned a bit at the question. "Of course I can!" "Good, make sure you do. Now come on."  
  
They all walked across the street. "Hey, Vegeta! What's up?" the man at the door called as they approached. "The usual table?" Vegeta grinned. "Of course." Trunks' and Goku's eyes widened in surprise. "You're a regular here?" Goku asked. "Who're these two?" the doorman asked suspiciously. "They're with me." Vegeta told him as they walked in. The doorman stopped Trunks. "How old are you?" "He's 21." Vegeta said, returning to the doorway. The man looked at Trunks again. "He doesn't look 21..." Vegeta glared at him. "I SAID he's 21! Don't make me repeat it!" "Ok! Ok, it's cool, man. Whatever you say." he said nervously as Trunks passed.  
  
The three entered the bar. Trunks and Goku stopped and looked around in shock. There were lights flashing everywhere, yet it was still generally dark, music playing, people laughing and hooting, drinks being served, people dancing...and then...there was a stage. Goku looked over at Vegeta, who was grinning back at them. "What's wrong? You afraid?" "Uh..no.." Trunks choked out, looking up at the stage. "Shouldn't those women on stage put more clothes on...?" Goku asked nervously. Vegeta laughed. "You're such an idiot, Kakarotto."  
  
They made their way over to a table which was very close to the stage. Goku sat there a moment, keeping his eyes down at the table. Then he looked over at Trunks, only to discover that he was staring up at the stripper girls, drooling. "Trunks!!" Goku shouted, putting his hand over the future Saiyajin's eyes. "Leave him alone, Kakarotto. It won't kill him." Goku looked at Vegeta. "I can't believe you'd bring your underage son to a place like this! Are you going to bring Baby Trunks next week?" he scolded, keeping his hand over Trunks' eyes. The prince laughed a bit. "You're too uptight for your own good. If you'd relax a bit, you'd learn what a good time is." "I can't loosen up!" Goku cried, looking around. "This is crazy!" Vegeta gestured at a waitress and she came over with three beers. Goku took his hand away from Trunks' eyes to cover his own as the waitress, who was wearing skimpy clothes as well, put the beers on the table and left. Trunks drooled a bit as she walked  
away. "Wow..." he said, looking around as if he'd go blind at any second. "This place rules!"  
  
"You can open your eyes now, Kakarotto. The woman is gone." Vegeta teased. Goku slowly lowered his hand from his eyes and looked over at Trunks, who was staring at one of the waitress's. "Trunks!!" The demi-Saiyajin quickly lowered his eyes and looked at the beer in front of him. "Hey...I can't drink this." "Why not?" Vegeta asked. "I'm underage!" "So what? It's not like you'll die." Vegeta grinned as he drank his beer. Trunks hesitated a minute before taking a sip. "Ooo..I like..." he said to himself as he took a bigger swing of it. Goku shook his head in pity. "Go ahead, Kakarotto. Haven't you ever had a beer before?" Goku looked at Vegeta but didn't say anything. The prince grinned. "You haven't!" He felt his face turn red. "I have so!" he insisted. "Then what's wrong?" Vegeta asked. "Yeah, go on." Trunks said. "It's great!" Goku looked over at Trunks in surprise. "Are you drunk already!?" he asked, noting the slight slur in Trunks' speech. The future Saiyajin waved an  
arm at the other Saiyajin. "No way!" Goku watched as Trunks took another sip of his beer. His coordination was off as well. It took him three tries to make contact with his mouth, and he laughed every time he missed as if it were the funniest thing in the world. Vegeta grinned at his son, obviously amused by this. Goku hesitated a bit longer, watching Trunks. i Well, he seems to be happy enough... /i he thought, finally taking a swing of his beer. "There," Vegeta smirked. "That wasn't so bad, was it?"  
  
After an hour, things were starting to look really good to Goku. He'd just finished off his fifth beer and was feeling completely at ease, as was Trunks and Vegeta, who'd each had six beers. Each of them were now talking in slurred voices. "Another round!" Trunks shouted. Goku leaned over and rested his arm on Trunks' shoulder and poked him in the nose with his other hand. "You've *hic* had enough, mister." Trunks frowned and attempted to push Goku away, but completely missed and fell onto the floor, much to Vegeta and Goku's amusement. They both sat there snickering as Trunks pawed his way back into his seat. Vegeta leaned on the table and motioned for Goku to come closer. Goku nodded and leaned on the table as well. "Kakarotto..." Vegeta started. "You know what?" Goku thought for a long while. "Yes.....wait...no...no I don't." Vegeta leaned in closer. "I think Trunks might *hic* be drunk..." He and Goku looked at each other for a moment, then both burst out laughing at the  
same time as they leaned back in their chairs. Trunks looked at them, wondering what was so funny, and finally burst out laughing as well. After a few minutes they all stopped laughing. "What were we laughing *hic* about?" Goku asked. "Your mother." Vegeta slurred. "Oh yeah." Goku said as they all began laughing again.  
  
Some of the stripper ladies approached them and smiled. "Why don't you boys come up on stage with us?" one woman said as she put her arms around Goku. "Yeah, it'll be fun." another said, running her fingers through Trunks' hair. They looked over at Vegeta, only to see that he wasn't there anymore. Goku pointed and laughed when he saw the prince up on stage, kissing one of the women. The two girls pulled Goku and Trunks up on stage as well. "Hey everyone!" one woman called to the crowd. "We found our entertainment for ladies night, which starts in a few minutes!" Everyone cheered, as did Vegeta, Goku, and Trunks. "Alright guys, lets go get you three in costume." a woman said as the Saiyajins were led back stage.  
  
ChiChi and Bulma walked into the bar and took a seat. "I can't believe I let you drag me here..." ChiChi told Bulma as she looked around the bar. "Yeah, well, I was getting bored with that movie we went to see...and the go-carts weren't that great either, so hey! Why not?" Bulma smiled. "Looks like we're just in time for ladies night too..." she said, looking up on stage. A woman came out with a microphone. "Ah, looks like we have a lot of ladies here tonight! The entertainment we originally had planned for you all canceled at the last moment..." she announced. The crowd showed their disappointment by booing. "But don't worry," she continued. "We managed to find a few hunks in the audience tonight, and seeing as how they are drunk, they're more than willing to perform. You won't be disappointed." The audience cheered, as did Bulma. ChiChi smiled, but was still uneasy about being there.  
  
After a few more minutes, the song Y.M.C.A began to play and a bunch of woman led Vegeta, Trunks, and Goku out on stage. Vegeta was dressed like a firefighter, Goku was dressed like a construction worker, and Trunks was dressed like a police officer. The audience cheered as the drunken Saiyajins danced along with the song. Goku formed the Y, Vegeta the M, and Trunks the C, while they all formed the A. ChiChi and Bulma stared for a minute. "It can't be...." Bulma said slowly. ChiChi was in shock as she watched Goku. "It is...I can't believe this, but that's them!!" She stood up, enraged, as did Bulma. "GOKU!!!VEGETA!TRUNKS!!!" they both screamed. Suddenly, the music stopped, as did the cheering and a spotlight was focused on the two women. Goku peered out at them. "Hey look *hic* guys! It's that lady I live with." Vegeta nodded and looked at Bulma. "Yeah, *hic* and it's that other lady that I love so much." he slurred. Trunks waved at Bulma. "Hi, mommy!" "My god...They're  
drunk as skunks!" Bulma cried. The two women both ran up on stage and turned to the audience. "How DARE you people take advantage of these men while they're drunk! You should all be ashamed of yourselves!" ChiChi lectured. "Take it off!" a man shouted from the back. ChiChi turned away angrily and looked for Goku, who'd wandered off. "He's over there." Bulma said, pointing over at the bar, where Goku was having another drink. "Goku, NO!" ChiChi cried, running over to him and taking the drink from him. "Awwww...come on! One more!" he pleaded, reaching for the drink. "No! You've had enough!" "I'll tell you when I've had enough, mean lady!" Goku slurred, talking to a barstool. Meanwhile, Bulma was dragging Vegeta and Trunks off stage. "But we haven't finished dancing with the pretty ladies yet..." Trunks whined as Bulma led them to the door. "Yes you have, young man!" Bulma yelled. Vegeta snickered and poked Trunks on the cheek. "She called you a man." he laughed. Trunks  
frowned. "You *hic* take that back!" Vegeta shook his head no. "Fine then!" Trunks grinned. "You can't have it back anyway. *hic*" They both looked at each other and start snickering, then burst out laughing. "I can't believe this..." Bulma muttered.  
  
Once ChiChi and Bulma had gotten the three outside they realized something. "Hey, how are we going to get them home? The car isn't big enough for all of them." ChiChi pointed out. "Don't worry," Goku said, stumbling backward a little. "We can fly home. Yep we sure can." Vegeta and Trunks laughed. "Don't be silly, Goku." Vegeta laughed, leaning on him. (By the way, Vegeta calling him Goku was NOT a typo...Yes, he's seriously wasted.) "We can't fly." Trunks laughed. Goku frowned. "Can so...I'll show you..." The Saiyajin put his arms out in front of him and ran around, making flying noises. Vegeta and Trunks gasped. "Wow...he can fly!" Trunks said in awe as he watched Goku run around. Vegeta pushed Trunks away. "Big deal...I *hic* can do that." Vegeta started imitating Goku, as did Trunks, and the three took off `flying' down the street. ChiChi and Bulma looked at each other and ran down the street after them, screaming for them to stop. "Hey look!" Trunks said, looking back at  
ChiChi and Bulma. "They can fly too!" They all stopped and looked back at them. Vegeta frowned. "I bet they *hic* can't do this." he said, turning to Goku. He raised his palm and fired a blast at him. "Vegeta! NO!" Bulma screamed. Goku chuckled as the blast closed in on him, finally hitting him and sending the Saiyajin flying through a brick wall. ChiChi and Bulma ran over to see if he was ok.  
  
"Goku?!" ChiChi cried as she and Bulma dug through the bricks. A couple feet away, Goku pushed a few bricks off him and sat up, still chuckling. ChiChi and Bulma ran over to him. "Are you ok!?" ChiChi asked, noting that he only seemed to have a few cuts and bruises on him. Goku looked over at her. "What did you *hic* call me?!" She sighed. "Nothing." Goku got up and stumbled back over to Vegeta, who was still laughing, as was Trunks. "You suck, Veggie Head." Goku slurred, pointing at Vegeta. The prince waved his arm at Goku. "What do you know?" Trunks raised his palm to his face and stared in awe as it lit up in preparation for a ki attack. "Trunks!!!Don't!" Bulma shrieked, running over to him. "Huh?" Trunks said, looking up at her, accidently launching the ki attack and hitting himself in the chest. He was thrown into the air, laughing the whole time. Bulma watched helplessly as her son fell into an electric sign, sending electricity pulsing through his body. Goku and  
Vegeta watched the light show in awe. After a minute or so, Trunks finally fell to the ground, where he lay still as Bulma and ChiChi rushed over to him. "Trunks!?" Bulma cried as she turned him onto his back. She was surprised to see that he was ok, and that he was laughing. "Can I do that *hic* again!?" he asked as he staggered to his feet. "No! You're all coming with us right now!" Goku, Vegeta and Trunks all moaned in disappointment.  
  
ChiChi finally called a couple of cabs. Bulma, Vegeta and Trunks got into one, and ChiChi and Goku got in another. "Hope you'll be able to handle them alright." ChiChi called from out the window. "I should be ok." Bulma replied, pointing to Trunks who leaning on Vegeta, asleep. Meanwhile, Vegeta and Goku were making faces at each other through the windows. "Good luck!" ChiChi and Bulma called to each other as the cabs pulled away.  
  
THE NEXT DAY...  
  
Goku opened his eyes and looked around, waiting for his vision to focus. He glanced at the clock as he sat up. "1:30 pm!?" he cried. "Owww.....my head...." he mumbled, putting his hand on his forehead. The Saiyajin slowly got up and stumbled to the door, catching a glimpse of himself in the mirror. "What...what am I doing in these cloths?" Goku asked himself as he looked at the construction worker outfit he was wearing. He shook his head and continued out to the living room, where he found ChiChi in the kitchen and Gohan watching tv. He sat down in a chair and frowned at the Jerry Springer episode his son was watching. Gohan looked over at Goku and grinned. "What?" he asked in confusion. Gohan chuckled a little. "Nothing..." "Oh, so you've finally decided to roll on out of bed." ChiChi said, walking over from the kitchen. Goku looked over at her. "Where'd I get these clothes?" ChiChi frowned at first, then smirked. "You got them from the stripper girls down at the club last  
night." Goku's eyes narrowed and he turned white. Gohan suddenly burst out laughing, so much that he fell off the couch and rolled around on the floor. "It's not funny!" Goku shouted, then quickly lowering his voice when a sharp pain shot through his head. ChiChi frowned. "Yes...it would seem that Vegeta and Trunks had a good time as well. We had to bring you three home in a cab last night after pulling you off the stage!" Goku was silent. She smiled. "But I must say, I didn't know you Saiyajins were such good dancers." This made Gohan burst out laughing again and Goku's face turned red as he slumped down in his chair.  
  
MEANWHILE AT CAPSULE CORP....  
  
Vegeta and Trunks stumbled out of their rooms at the same time and made their way downstairs to where Bulma was. She grinned and looked at them. "How are my two little party animals feeling today?" Vegeta and Trunks looked at each other in confusion. Their eyes widened when they got a good look at one another. "WHY ARE YOU DRESSED LIKE THAT!?" they both shouted, pointing at each other. Bulma laughed and told them what had happened last night. Trunks grinned as he thought about the stripper girls he'd been drooling over. "Trunks! Wipe that grin off your face!" Bulma scolded. "You shouldn't have been in that club last night!" "But...but..." Trunks tried to explain. "No excuses!" she cried. "You could have easily gotten up and left, but you decided not to! Shame on you!" Trunks looked down at the floor in shame. Bulma turned her attention to Vegeta, who was smirking at his son. "I wouldn't be smiling if I were you, Vegeta." The prince looked over at her. "You've got nothing on  
me, woman. I can go where ever I want!" She smiled. "Of course you can. In fact, go whenever you want. You're a lot of fun when you're drunk." Vegeta's smile faded. "What are you talking about?!" he asked. Bulma just smiled. "That's for me to know." With that, she got up and left to another room. Trunks and Vegeta looked at each other and slumped back on the couch, folding their arms. "I'm never going to have fun again..." Vegeta muttered. Trunks nodded. "Yeah...me neither."  
  
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(Disclaimer: By no means is this story sending the message that you should go get drunk. Sure, our Saiyajin friends seemed to have fun, but they also got hurt. That's right. If the strongest men in the universe can get hurt and do dumb things while drunk, just imagine what could happen to a weakling like you! Yeah, you think about it! Not all of us have wives to pull us off stage and keep us from making complete fools of ourselves..... to a certain extent. So heed my warning, DON'T GET DRUNK WITH SAIYAJINS!!!!! Wait...wait I mean, don't get drunk, period! Yeah, that's right...) 


End file.
